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July 16, 2001
New York City has had several names, not all of them flattering. In 1807, Washington Irving nicknamed its original borough Gotham, meaning "hamlet of the Goths." Gotham was a village in England during the days of King John. As the story goes, the kings subjects, having learned that he was planning to establish a hunting lodge near their Nottinghamshire site, and fearing high taxes and other stringent measures, all acted by preconceived plan as if possessed by lunancy, and the king's messengers reported the spot unsuitable for sane people to inhabit. Gotham since then has assumed the meaning of a town with a "method to its madness." -
from Panati's Browser's Book of Beginnings
Friday morning, I fly back to New York City, place of my birth. I was born in Flushing, Queens some thirty years ago. I haven't been back in quite some time and I'm glad to be going under such interesting circumstances. John Mulhern, Pat Shay and I will be performing our three-person show ("PantsHappy 2: Electric Pantaloons") at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater for their annual 24 Hours of Del long-form improv marathon. That's one long and complicated sentence. John is flying in from Los Angeles for this and we haven't rehearsed in some time. I guess we'll rehearse Friday night though I am planning to consume my weight in delicious Chinese and Italian food as I waddle between Chinatown and Little Italy.
We have two shows on Saturday, 7am and then again at 7pm. There are lots of Chicago people going, and I would love to hang out with them in NYC, but I have old friends and even older family to visit with. I've never been to the UCB theater and I've heard so much about it... I'm very excited about this. I wanted to do something similar here in Chicago, but I wanted to do 48 hours of non-stop improv with one team! (Team A, Team B, Team A again, then Team C, so the marathon would be an ironman festival like this: A, B, A, C, A, D, A, E, A, F, A, G) Wouldn't you want to be there around the 30th hour or so to see what kind of scenes team A is doing? Remember that hilarious Happy Days episode with the dance marathon? At the end when Fonzie gets all ticked off and does that Russian kick-squat thing? That was boss. I wish I was staying longer in Gotham, but I have a level 2 class on Sunday that I want to be at. I love it. I'll be missing a Pat Shay Dancers show on Friday night. Please go see how great they are without me. I'm sad to be missing that.
Dave just made fun of Leno's "Iron Jay" lame ass bit. Awesome.
I kinda have to mention the next thing since Dave reminded me of it. The Sarah Silverman / Conan O'Brien thing. C'mon, people. Everyone relax. Now, I can easily see both sides of the story. I understand the need and desire of the Asian American group to speak out on the matter since I have seen a growing increase in stereotypes and negative portrayals of Asians on TV and film. (Please, please don't get me started on that rancid Rush Hour 2.) On the other hand, It Was A Joke. Was it a great joke? Not really, I've heard the bit before except that it used the n-word. I thought it was funny when I saw the show and I loved it. I mean, I love the Chinese- who doesn't? I think Sarah Silverman is hilarious and so damn attractive. In "Something About Mary", at the end credits when everyone sings "Buttercup", when she lip-syncs her part it's so sexy. And she was hilarious on the Larry Sanders show. It wasn't that big a deal. I do think that if she used "nigger", "spic" or even "kike" instead of "chink" it definitely would have been bleeped.
Anyhow, I don't think Conan should apologize again on-air. I liked what he said; he didn't apologize for her and didn't regret the exchange. He said they would bleep more diligently. That was fair and good without pandering to PC-ness.
I'm getting DSL. I don't know why. I don't need this. What, HotorNot will load that much faster?
The ImprovOlympic 20th Anniversary show is next week. I'm very excited about that as well. We still haven't figured out what my title for this thing is yet. Associate Producer? Stage Manager? Matter-Eater Lad? I will be stagemanaging both shows, which I have never done, but I can't imagine it being too difficult. There are no props and no scenery changes. I'm lucky enough to know everyone coming by name and by face (I think. I hope.) so I think I'll be okay.
On Saturday afternoon I get to host another panel discussion about Del Close with the returning IO alumni. That'll be weird. The first one I knew all the panelists (Noah, Mick, Charna, Miles) but this one will be either people I kinda know and folks who I have only seen from afar. I'm sure they're all be very nice, but will be thinking, "Alright, who the fuck is this guy?"
I gotta go right now. I will update as soon as I get back from NYC. Have fun everyone! God bless the AC!
END OF LINE
“We're not gonna need a sexy chicks room." (charna)
"Actually, it's a hot chicks room." (real estate dude)
"Well, whatever it is, we don't want it." (charna)
"Well, Charna, you said the same thing about the microwave, and we used that darned thing all the time." (miles) '
From the first episode of the Upright Citizens Brigade.
I'm back in Chicago. I went to New York. Did some shows. Watched even more shows and have returned to tell the tale.
Friday the 27th- I arrived far too early in NYC. I got to walk across the island of Manhattan to my hotel room. Chosen by Min-aha Beeck (Storytime John, and the IO team I coach, That-What-Will-Not-Be-Named) the Chelsea Savoy is about 200 yards away from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. I dropped off my bag and decided to check out the theater and do some recon of the surrounding environs.
The UCB Theater looks very small from the outside. It's a standard storefront with the front glass fairly littered with show posters and articles on both the group and the theater itself. There were also articles on UCB theater alum posted up. I went in and took a look at all the photos on the walls. There were some great montages from the TV show. I really liked the frames with four photos of one of the UCB as four different characters. Further into the theater there was table set up with some flowers in a vase and tons of literature for shows at the theater.
- Shows at the UCB each have professionally made posters.
On the right hand on the hallway were photos from Chicago; several Del photos and a terrible photo of Charna (the photo is fine, but it looks like a copy of waterdamaged photo). Other photos were fun and nostalgic; photos of the original Inside Vladimir (Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were on that team), shots of different TourCos, great photos of the several different groups of people that have made up the UCB over the years. In the same hallway is a door that you don't notice until you're leaving. It's marked as the 'Hot Chicks Room.' No wonder rent in NY is so high.
A big, black curtain separates the hallway from the theater. Once you step through the curtain you're standing right next to the stage; everyone seated in the house can now see you. I would liken it to the Del Close Theater at IO if the door leading into the theater was right next to the stage. The stage itself is a square, about 15 by 15 feet with two curtained doorways in the back. The room seats about 80 people. I really liked the seats; they were these plastic molded seats like the kind they had in the 70s in bus stations.
So, I looked around and then I went to Papaya King for a Pina Colada and some delicious hot dogs.
New York smells the same. It certainly looks different, but it still smells the same.
Met with my family and then John Mulhern joined us for dinner. We went down to Chinatown and pigged out. Then to Little Italy for dessert. That was fun. A while ago, it looked like Chinatown was going to swallow Little Italy. LI was down to about 2 blocks as opposed to the 6 or 7 of my youth. LI, on the weekends has blocked off the streets so that just about every restaurant has a sidewalk cafe and the streets can accommodate many more people. It really resembles a street fair. A smart idea and now Chinatown surrounds a LI strip of 4 blocks. Little Italy is thriving again and I'm glad. I miss the Italian food there. In hindsight should have had some Italian food.
John and I headed back uptown (the UCB theater is in the fashionable Chelsea area, just below midtown) to watch the Cagematch. It was packed and we just got in. As we were walking in we heard the intern tell the people behind us that the show was sold out. Cagematch is the same as it was here in Chicago. Rooftop Players had a fun show and the house team from UCB, Mother, did as well. In all honesty, I thought the Rooftop Players had a better show, and I did vote for them.
Alas, Mother won.
The PantsHappy first show was on Saturday at 7:30am so John and I headed back to the hotel for sleep. We found our roommates, Min-aha and Pat Shay somewhere on the way there. We all went to sleep around 3am. I was unjustly accused of snoring.
SATURDAY, JULY 28TH
I woke up at 5:30am to begin Phase One of Project:WideAwake. I showered and got ready for the show. Then I went over to the nearby Krispy Kreme (oooooo, so good). The shows are the CIF Improv Till Dawn always have tons of people there so we thought that anyone nice enough to come to our show deserved something nice. I bought 4 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. When I finally got back from KK, Min-aha was in Phase Four of Project:WideAwake. I ran over to the theater and met up with Messers. Shay and Mulhern. We met with the intern in charge and he was kind enough to let our
families in for free if they weren't coming to any other shows.
The stage was very sticky. The show before us was something called 'Substance Abuse' and apparently they all drank copious amounts (during the show) of the liquid that was named on their t-shirts. There was Manishevitz (sic), Beer, 'Man-Cum', and the unfortunate 'Tequila.' They were up at 6:30am and then there was a scheduled Theater Cleaning. Then us.
The stage had been mopped but we couldn't move with out that sticky feel and sound.
We went into the Green Room to warm up but it looked like the last reel from a Friday the 13th movie; there were bodies everywhere just completely crashed out. I mean, mouths open, limbs strewn every which way, exhausted sleeping. So we did our warm-up between the in the small backstage area. Just as they were introducing us I went out into the audience and started handing out doughnuts. Counting my mom, Mary Archbold and her mom, Min-aha (who graciously also took some photos for us), and John's sister, there were about 15 people there. Oh, and there was this guy Frank who sat in the front row for EVERY SINGLE SHOW. I don't know if he made his goal of sitting there for all 52 hours, but by the time he got to us, he was in there for about 15 hours.
The extremely, stumble-down, yelling crazy things drunk gal with the t-shirt of 'Tequila' decided to sit in the audience for our show. She grabbed a doughnut. When Pat asked for a suggestion of a piece of art that had never been made, she yelled out (before he could finish) 'Doughnut with an eclipse of Puss-shaayahhahahahahahaha!' Then she fell onto the floor. We started our show and she was finally removed about 10 minutes into it. She had been yelling and whooping during that 10 minutes. We did have low energy though. Right after she was taken out, the room kinda relaxed and then someone else's cellphone went off. Not that big a deal normally, but it was very loud in that room at that time.
So, the show went alright. Not terrible, we certainly had worse shows in Chicago, but we weren't too pleased with it.
So, at 8am, we were standing in front of the theater eating a dozen Krispy Kremes. We left a box for the kids crashing in the Green Room and another one for the interns.
We all split up, but I went back to the Hotel room to nap for an hour or two. Min-aha got the bed and I got the floor. I was unjustly accused of snoring.
We woke up around 10am and went back to the theater to see The Placebo Effect. It was really nice to see them hale and hearty. Ex-Placebans Joe Brady and Scott Somethingorother were there and they played as well. There were about 20 people in the audience, including Mr. Front Row.
I was very jealous of Jen Hagel and Paula Pazderka when I discovered they were staying at the Hotel Chelesa, just a few yards from where I was staying. The Hotel Chelsea is not only where Sid Killed Nancy, but was also the abode for Thomas Wolfe, Tennessee Williams, Mark Twain, Dylan Thomas, Julius Oppenheimer, Arthur Miller, and O. Henry to name a few! Lots of cool plaques and stories surrounding that place. Also, there's a comic book store a few feet from there.
TPE had a fun show and it was cool to see them do so well. Pat Gallen made an in-joke toward Mr. Front-Row that everyone laughed at except for Mr. Front-Row.
After their show I decided to run down to Chinatown again and cruise Canal Street looking for bargains. I mean how often can you get real Gucci and Rolex watches for only 5 bucks'! Had an amazingly good lunch at my favorite lunch spot in Chinatown. Saw several stands selling videos of Shrek, The Score, AI, etc. on my way there and I had planned on buying some on my back to the hotel but apparently I had just missed a raid as they were all gone (and so were some of the watch sellers). I got to haggle and I realized how much I missed doing that. When I moved out of NY I was really getting good at it.
I walked back uptown and made it to the theater in time to see the New York-based team, Piledriver. They're a professional wrestling-based team. All the players are specific characters and the suggestion serves the 'plot' of the backstage shenanigans. Characters edit by using some violent wrestling move to get the other players off stage. Everyone stayed in character and they really had the wrestling moves down. I enjoyed it for some strange reason.
After Piledriver came Storytime John. They were fun and it was good to see them (I've only seen one of their shows here) again.
I went back to the hotel to sleep. It was a long walk from Chinatown to Chelsea. A&E was running the Godfather non-stop. That was cool, but I was trying to sleep during the scene where Carlo beats Connie up and there's a lot of screaming in that one. So, not much sleep was had. Pat, Mary, John and Min-aha came in. This is about 4pm. I think, and it's mostly a haze right now, that they all left. I slept until about 5:30pm, changed clothes, put on my showface and ran over to the theater. I just caught the end of Roberts and Roberts. It sounded like a really good show.
I went in and watched a Chicago team. They were having a rough go of it. I heard some muttering from NY improvisers in the back'. 'This is Chicago?'' 'Oh, no it's okay.. they're from Chicago' which set my blood a'boiling.
I ran out of the theater after that group to find Mulhern and Shay in front of the building. We took a walk and discussed what to do differently this time around. Big show for Pat; Mary's 5(!) older brothers were in the audience. Unbeknownst to me, my beloved
little sister Jennifer was in the audience as well.
It was my turn to get an audience suggestion and I wondered what to ask for. John said ask for a hobby but I thought I would end up getting comic books or sci-fi or something and that wouldn't really serve the piece. So, I decided to ask for 'something that was pre-occupying your mind.'
We went into the extremely tidy green room. There were props from various episodes of the Upright Citizens Brigade TV show; poo-sticks, various guns, costumes, etc. I drank two Diet Cokes. Oddly enough, the show before us was a scripted musical thingie' we did our usual lame warmup and then ran out as they announced us.
It was a full house. Katherine Gotsick, Lloyd Ahlquist, and Pat Gallen were in the house, seated down the entranceway, so they caught my eye really quick. That was very good of them to come. Mr. Front-Row was there. I ask for the suggestion. I get
'Godzilla.' Good thing I changed what I was going to ask for.
It turned out to be a very fun, personal, high-energy show. I will go so far as to say that it was one of the best PantsHappy shows we have done. The audience was very friendly and several people cheered when I mentioned the great film '1776,' but not as many as when I mentioned the Shaolin No-Shadow Kick (''the kick so fast it leaves no shadow!!!!!') Before the show we discussed making a effort to improve our environment work and we did so. That was fun.
The lights came out and we went back stage.
The cast for Screw Puppies (Rebecca Sohn, Jodi Lennon, 'Strolly(?)'', Joe Bill, Mark Sutton, Matt Walsh) were back there and they all clapped and praised our show; which was high praise. That made me happy.
We went outside for a second and figured out what we were doing.. we (John, Pat and I) were all heading separate ways, but were going to hook back up later. My sister came out of the theater with her boyfriend and that was a pleasant surprise. An old college friend of mine and John's came walking up' 'Did I miss it'!?' Some things never freaking change.
I went in and watched Screw Puppies. Hilarious, great stuff. I bust a gut. Lots of ribald fun and energy. After that I missed the Chicago-based 'I Miss High School'.. I don't remember why I left the theater' to talk to SP, I think... I went back in and caught a great show, the NY-based Tracers. It's a show at UCB and it was very good. Ex-Chicagoan Kevin Mullaney was in it and he also directed it. I liked it very much.
After that was Leather and Lace. Justin O'Connor has pressed fellow Dinner for Sixer Lauren Glass into service when Celeste Pechous couldn't make the trip. Noel Dinneen did their lights and sound. It was one of the best L&L I have seen. They were so good! Lauren freaking kicked ass! She was great. Justin was great. They really did us proud out there.
Then came Feature Feature. The team doing the 'movie.' It was well done and they used the camera angles/techniques sparingly. After that was Katie Lee Gifford and Ricky Martin and the Champions of Justice. That was a long-form based around someone impersonating KLG and RM. They're on a tour with a robot named Mogo (who looked really cool) and they fight crimes. The fun part, for me, was the narrator trying to get things wrapped up but being foiled by the players. I laughed a lot during this show. I like robots, so sue me.
Swing Baby was an experimental form headed up by ex-Chicagoan Shannon Manning. Noel played with them. It was funny.
I left the theater and ran into Jeff Richmond, Tina Fey and Horatio Sanz. We spoke for a bit and gossiped about Second City, of all things. They were there for 'Jeff Richmond Hosts Open Musical Improv Jam' which ran from midnight to 2am.
The bar of choice for UCB'ers is Peter McManus' about three blocks away. I headed over there with the intention of saying hi and g'bye. I was quite sleepy and my mom was coming to take me to the airport at 6am. I got to the bar and it was a great place!
Well-lit, fast bartenders and lots of room with no loud music. Spoke with New Yorkers Asaf Ronen (of yesand.com) and Betsy Stover (UCBer). Hung out with tons of great Chicagoans I usually don't hang out with in Chicago. I was voted most likely to have had the most disgusting sex and most likely to video himself having sex. That was nice. Yes, I am a sexual being with wants and needs. Mockingly, I suggested that we all get together in a week and show each other our photographs, but I think we all should. I have two rolls of film to get developed.
Mulhern and I finally got out of there around 3 or so. The Godfather was on. Michael was in Italy. I packed as much as I could and then we went to sleep. The alarm went off around 5am and when we were finally ready to leave, just as we touched out bags the hotel's fire alarms all went off. We made it down the stairs and determined that it was a false alarm. I was attempting to checkout before the fire department showed up; otherwise the lone desk clerk would never get around to me. I checked out just as they were pulling up but the NYFD boxed in my moms car.
We got out of there and I made my flight early. I was leaving so early that I would be able to get to O'Hare, take public transportation and get to IO in time to teach my noon class. We ended up sitting on the tarmac for hours. We got extra breakfast. I had to
call the great Paul Grondy from the airplane to cover my class, god bless 'em.
I got home around 2pm. I went to sleep. I woke up at 7pm and went out to dinner. Went back to sleep around 9:30pm. Woke up at 7am. And here we are.
Things I Noticed at UCB.
-They have really nice posters.
-There are only a handful (less than 10) teams so each has a nice photo on the wall.
-Good improvisation is still good improvisation regardless of the city or theater.
-Seeing friends in other cities is fun.
-I just wrote a lot of stuff about NYC. What did you think about NYC? What did I miss?
END OF LINE
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